Author: John and Stasi Eldredge and Jim Burns
source: HomeWord
Don't miss our HomeWord with Jim Burns 2-part broadcast on September 20 & 21, 2007, as Jim Burns talks with John & Stasi Eldredge about "What Women Want." Listen online to these programs on or after the airing dates by accessing our broadcast webpage. To do so, click here.
What is it that women want? The pressures women face today from the culture (like "Do more" and "Be more") leave many wrestling with this question. This struggle too often results in women living with a constant sense of failure. The key to overcoming these feelings is found with getting back to the heart; of rediscovering and recapturing their core desires. Not long ago, I spoke with John and Stasi Eldridge, authors of the book, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul and they shared with me their insights into this critical issue.
Many women have suffered hurts and wounds to their hearts from childhood and as adults. These often lead to women losing the sense of who God has created them to be, and becomes a catalyst to conform to the culture's view of what a woman is. Women will strive to do more, be more and pursue shallow and fleeting ideals (like appearance and busyness.) Yet, Jesus wants to give women their hearts back. He can heal the hurts and wounds that have negatively affected women's lives. He's in the heart-healing business. (The focus of his mission was foretold in Isaiah 61, "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.")
God has given three core desires to women. He put these desires in a women's heart; they are her destiny. These core desires reflect what women are made for. As women allow Jesus to do His healing work to restore their hearts, he wants to reawaken these desires within.
1. To be romanced.
Women have been created with a desire to be romanced. Ultimately, this desire is fulfilled when women allow themselves to be loved by God. And, God is the Great Lover. Jeremiah 31:3 reads, "The Lord has appeared to us in the past, saying: 'I have loved you with an everlasting love…" When a woman knows that she is loved passionately by God, she understands that she is safe in His love. She can risk offering her true heart, being vulnerable and tender, and invite others into deeper intimacy with and healing from Jesus.
Still, women desire romance from their husbands. They continually ask internal questions like, "Am I lovely? Do you enjoy me? Am I worth pursuing, worth fighting for? Am I captivating?" The wise husband will not let these questions go unanswered (or answered negatively.) Husbands ought to pay ongoing attention to his wife, know her, enjoy her and spend time with her.
2. To play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure.
Women don't want to be merely useful. They want to be irreplaceable in something epic and grand, something heroic. That's what women were made for.
Women should ask themselves, "What kind of calling has Jesus written on my heart?" God places desires in a woman's heart that reveal His adventure for your life. Consider how that might begin to play out in your life in relationship, parenting, career, and church? We read in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord ?and He will give you the desires of your heart."
And speaking of adventure, a desire for adventure comes naturally to men. It is one of their core desires. But men can easily tend to venture alone, leaving their wives behind. Rather, they should include their wives along on adventures that are appealing to both. They should share the grand adventure of life together. They should not leave their wives behind, while pursing adventure.
3. To unveil beauty.
Women are led to believe that beauty is a matter of external qualities alone and that the externals are of the utmost importance. Women also have a hard time believing that they possess any great beauty of their own. The truth is, that as image bearers of God, every woman possesses beauty. That beauty first, is a quality of soul. It is beauty that emerges and grows over time as a woman walks with God. Beauty makes itself known in the external as well. It expresses itself in the face, in the eyes, in the voice. Women want to make the world a more beautiful place through their lives. They inspire their husbands to become all that God created them to be.
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